oh my beloved god!

Frankly..
i always be pessimist
many things in my journey life here
i thought them
as a test,challenge and obstacle to me
thus,i need a firm endurance
be optimist and broad-minded
but once i allocated in particular circumstance
typically i tend to alter my mind set
i always said
how could you (god) do all these to me..
how willing you my Lord..
and some others..
i felt sad,frustrated,lack of entusiasism
then my world begin so gloomy
i cried so much till i got sick
it was fully unbearable
and definitely i felt painful
i became speechless
i unable to describe them in such words
but what i can do is
raise up my two hands
encounter to the holy kiblah
with the empty soul and lethargic body
i talk to my beloved god which is Allah Taala
every single ache where they were pent up
deeply in my heart and mind
i speak out all of them
till nothing left at behind
implicitly or explicitly
i do saw my self apparent in sorely pitiful
i also sympatize with my own self
like unfortunate
but what i can do
i just His servant
the best thing to do is
hoping and praying for guidance
tranquil of my entire life
demand for His blessing towards
any matter or stuff
ya,of course He will listen to
no doubt at all
if i able to reach the optimum level of calmness
it is anequate for me
i gratify my Creator
because i do know something
life is hard but still
life is wonderful
right?